A-m (umopapisdn) wrote,

I am about to have another voluntary departure in my group. The third since they arrived here. And there are mumblings about another. Its really getting hard for me not to take it personally. Everyone who has chosen to leave this trimestre says things like "I would have left sooner if you hadn't been here." And they ALWAYS make their decision to leave on a night that I am away from the house overnight --- which makes me feel gun-shy about taking time off. I had four voluntary departures first trimestre too. Two of which did have a lot to do with me (they were participants that needed to choose to leave, or they would have been leaving pretty soon after anyhow with paperwork). Overall though, my percentages are spiking way over the norm.

But I can say with all honesty that I have been working my ass off, with both my first group and this one, to provide them with an engaging experience in Fergus, to open their eyes to new learning opportunities, to foster "teachable moments" in the home, to build their group dynamic, to work one-on-one with the participants to focus on skill development and objective settings, to deal with issues in the group as they come up and in transparent ways. I feel like I am doing my job and doing it well.

And yet, I can't help but take it personally when so many participants decide that the "program" is not for them in my trimestre. Basically, in a lot of ways, I drive the program. And I wonder if its true that the vehicle is the issue, or if the really problem is how I drive.
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