I don't regret my recent choices.
What I regret is that from the get go I wasn't honest when I should have been. Perhaps initial honesty would mean that he and I never would have become such good friends... but perhaps not. Perhaps we'd have figured something out... and maybe then I wouldn't be missing him so terribly tonight.
There have been a lot of moments in the past few months that I've really missed him... reminiscing with my sister about tumbleweeds, thinking about buying concert tickets for various events, eating with a friend a Mr.Greenjeans, taking the subway and not running into shmanny, seeing a really really terrible movie... and probably a million other times. But tonight, thinking about birthdays and how there won't ever be any more together... well I guess how much that sucks really hit home.