Tonight started out great.. then spiralled downward toward self-pity. I miss a certain web footed fellow. I thought I'd moved past the silence...accepted the reality of it not being anything anymore (was it ever?) But tonight the tears came back full force. And, again the urge to call him. But I won't. And I won't ask for it back. A gift given is just that. But I have a fear that he won't recognize its value and it will be lost to me forever. Although, right now, I don't believe I could ever look at it with the same love again. What is it about love that one moment you can be so sure of it, feel its tangibility, drown in it... and then, a heartbeat and half a breath later, you wonder if you've ever really been in love at all.