Been reading Will Ferguson's latest: "How to be a Canadian"... for those who don't know he also wrote: "I was a Teenage Katimavictim" and "Why I Hate Canadians" both quite humourous.
Here is something from his chapter titled, "Learning the Language -- How to Talk like a Canadian":
Well, that's just plain wrong, isn't it? As any true Canadian will tell you, both words are spelled incorrectly. It should be TIRE CENTRE. Right? Canadian English is a hodgepodege hybrid that operates according to its own eclectic rules, and Canadians just sort of make it up as they go along.
American: Tire Center British:Tyre Centre
Canadian: One from Column A and one from Column B. Hence, the oddity of "Tire Centre."
Confused? Consider the following:
Canadians write a cheque for their colour TVs. They turn off the tap. Eat porridge, put jam on thier toast and gas in their trucks, and munch potato chips as they relax on their chesterfields.
For those keeping score, the tally runs like this:
British English: cheque, colour, tap, porridge and jam. (In the U.S. it would be check, color, faucet, oatmeal and jelly.)
American English: TV, gas, truck and potato chips. (In Britain it would be telly, petrol, lorry and crisps.)
And that leaves the word "chesterfield," which belongs in neither list. A chesterfield is what Americans call a "couch" and Brits call a "sofa." Or is it the other way around? Not that it matters. Canadians use all three -- couch, sofa and chesterfield with equal aplomb.
Love that! Here is a list of other Canadian words I've dug up from various sources... we do have our own language north of the border:
Bacteriophage, Caboose, Chinook, Crokinole, Deke, Duplex, Kerosene, Mackinaw, Mickey, Mountie, Muskrat, Muskeg, Pablum, Pogey, Potlatch, Sasquatch, Shinny, Skidoo, Snuck (as opposed to sneaked), Tuque.
The drink: Bloody Mary, is also Canadian born.
If you can define all of the above, you're either a true blue Canuck, or you google searched/dictionary.com'd them out you pooter geek you.