When I feel sure about something, it's likely he's not. When he's sure, I back away. Its like I can only ever be really intense and full on "in love" with someone who underneath I know will never be able to give that back.
Then, when there's someone who wants to offer me that same level of intensity. I just can't connect. I make excuses. I draw back.
I say I know what I want. I say I know what I need. I say I know what I feel. I say I know where I am headed. But basically, I am as blind to love as can be. And I just end up poking people in the eye with my cane, or tripping them. I stand confused and babbling nonsense among a battered crowd of bruised and damaged men.