A-m (umopapisdn) wrote,

I think I am cursed when it comes to love. To always just be out of sync with someone, just enough, that any kind of real relationship is just outside the realm of possible.

When I feel sure about something, it's likely he's not. When he's sure, I back away. Its like I can only ever be really intense and full on "in love" with someone who underneath I know will never be able to give that back.

Then, when there's someone who wants to offer me that same level of intensity. I just can't connect. I make excuses. I draw back.

I say I know what I want. I say I know what I need. I say I know what I feel. I say I know where I am headed. But basically, I am as blind to love as can be. And I just end up poking people in the eye with my cane, or tripping them. I stand confused and babbling nonsense among a battered crowd of bruised and damaged men.
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